THAKSIN SHOWS HIS FAMOUS BENEVOLENT SIDE*

Manchester City, the club, and it’s supporters deserve more. But anyone who accepted the tenure of the club’s new owner, Thaksin Shinawatra, must have seen this very day coming, and if they didn’t, more fool them. In case you’ve missed the news, Thaskin is unhappy with how his new toy has been performing recently, and has made it known that not only will manager Sven-Goran Eriksson be getting a P45 as soon as a convenient replacement has been found, but that City need a whole bunch of new players, “particulary midfielders.” It would boggle only the minds of those who know nothing about both Shinawatra and his sort of “new footie owner.” A much-rumored abuser of human rights back in his native Thailand (Amnesty International consider him one of the worst), where corruption and media suppression charges were also common, Shinawatra perhaps only ever bought City to escape the impending problems building for him in his own country.  Or maybe he bought them because he was actually a bored little despot in exile who wanted a plaything to keep him company. Or maybe he wanted to be able to walk around the place saying he owned a Premiership football club (back in 1994 he spoke of owning Liverpool - consider that for a moment all you Scousers before the Yank-bashing gets too thick) seriously, who actually knows what this mans motives were? And coming from a background where his obviously enormous ego is used to being massaged by a phlanx of sycophants, his latest outbursts should not be a shock. 

Indeed, the weirdest bit about the whole episode has been the amount of national sympathy it has generated for Sven, a man who two summers ago was a candidate for the most hated man in England thanks to the national side’s miserable failures. Yet here we are, offering the Swede tea and sympathy  sympathy thanks to an equally diminutive figure who happens to be a nutcase.  Of course the reality is that Sven deserves our sympathy no more than Thaksin; he took the fool’s gold and now he looks like a fool. But when the person shelling out said-gold is someone who makes Ferdinand Marcos seem rational, then even the fool is worth a moment of your mental charity. Still, one thing Thaksin has going for him…at least he’s made City a genuinely newsworthy club again!

…such a popular man, from Manchester to the Mekong delta…

THEY ONCE WERE GIANTS…AND ONE OF THEM IS AGAIN!

During a weekend when  Ronaldo was helping put a tighter grip on Man Utd’s impending title, when Robbie Keane plunged a dagger into the heart of Reading, and when Fulham were continuing to produce a Houdini act, in the Championship matters were at an emotional boiling point between two sides who have plenty of top flight history, albeit from a time before the Premiership existed.

Stoke City and Leicester City were once permanent fixtures in the old First Divison. Stanley Matthews, Gordon Banks (who also played for Leicester in his early career), Mike Pejic and Jimmy Greenhoff graced the Potters’ red and white striped shirt with aplomb, and whilst one League Cup win in 1972 is all they had to show for their years of top flight tenure, a trip to the old Victoria Ground was never a fond one for visiting teams. Leicester, meanwhile, produced some of the finer British players of the 70s and early 80s, Peter Shilton, Keith Weller, Frank Worthington, Gary Lineker, all internationals, all top-drawer names who ensured that a game at the old Filbert Street remained a tricky date for the likes of United, Spurs and Liverpool.

And there they were on Sunday May 4th, at approximately 2.35 pm UK time, their respective destinies hanging in the proverbial balance. Stoke needed a point or Hull City to lose for them to get automatic promotion to the Premiership. Leicester needed to hope Southampton did not win their final match at home to Sheffield United whilst also needing to beat Stoke, or else they would be relegated to the first division (the old second division). having under-achieved and snatched more than a normal percentage of defeats from the jaws of victory, Leicester were the definition of a team who whilst too good to go down had ben doggedly determined to prove otherwise. 

It’s no exaggeration to say that for much of the match, Leicester had battered Stoke. Brilliant saves were made, obvious penalties materialized into free-kicks on the edge of the box and the ball just would not go in. Goes to show that statistics really can be a waste of time when viewed out of context, as statistically-speaking, Leicester had owned the match. But they didn’t score. They couldn’t force the ball in. And with Hull losing in the end of it all, Stoke could’ve ridden the defeat and still been automatically promoted. Plus they didn’t bother scoring either. 0-0.  In a cruel way, this is precisely why football works, because such common-sense symmetry has no place whatsoever. There’s never any collusion (unless you believe the tales of Asian betting syndicates), no messages exchanged between opposing managers to agree to sit tight and force an unfortunate third party into trouble. Well, unless you count that disgraceful Austro-German farce in the 1982 World Cup Finals, but Austria’s got enough PR problems right now without past possible match-fixing being dragged up. 

At the final whistle in Stoke’s Britannia Stadium (their home for a mere 11 years with the Victoria Ground site now used as a dog run) three-quarters of the ground erupted in cheers whilst one side shed tears, although in their hour of misery, Leicester’s supporters sportingly found time to offer a round of applause to Stoke. Perhaps because they, of all clubs, understand what it is to be in the top flight, what it is to be out of it and what it means to get back into it. 

BYE BYE BERBY?

Is he leaving? Isn’t he? Agent and player in long talks with Spurs management this week? Nope, wait a moment, he’s been sold to AC Milan as of last night! What a soap opera! The man is much-loved for his skills and sublimity by Spurs supporters, but if he leaves (and it looks like he will) Tottenham Hotspur will survive. It survived the departures of Mackay and Greaves, it rode the end of Glenn and Gazza’s Lilywhite careers and it went marching on despite the likes of Waddle, Klinsmann and Sheringham making their ways. In the end he will leave, people will moan, a new face or two will arrive (Modric already has) and by Christmas, as long as results are decent, then all will be forgotten. So, er, bye-bye Berby and remember, the manager will always be more important…

 

BEST PLAYER OF THE WEEK: Frank Lampard

ALthough the Champions League semi-final second leg was a week ago now, Frank Lampard’s performance will last in the memory for so much longer. With every potential cliche potentially on display, Lampard managed to not only play his most direct and impactive football of the season, he generated a genuinely moving moment when he took the go-ahead penalty; yes there were tears and yes there was an obvious outburst of emotion, but who on earth didn’t feel genuinely happy for him at that moment (Scousers don’t count)? Whatever your team, whoever you cannot stand, Frank Lampard had to have softened you if only for a moment. It was, in every sense, an enormous performance.

 

WORST PLAYER OF THE WEEK: Nani - Man Utd

Er, more like Nini. At least he had the courage to admit it, but his stupid head-but at the admittedly unpleasant Lucas Neil was ridiculous, as was his subsequent strop. The folly of youth? Perhaps.

 

MATCH OF THE WEEK: Southampton 3 v Sheffield United 2

How many times have So’ton dodged the relegation bullet on the last day of a season? Usually adept at doing so in the Premiership or old First, this was perhaps even more important for their long-term health as dropping a division makes matters so much harder. Veteran striker Stern John was the main catalyst for another great escape, notching what proved to be the winner in the 69th minute, but then the excitable two-goal glory boy got himself sent-off in the 81st leaving the Saints nervously clinging to the victory which gave them survival. Along with the Stoke v Leicester game, a further reminder that there is a lot more footie to be enjoyed than just the Premiership.

 

*this headline is false and deceiving