ARSENEOIA…A NEW DISEASE IS BORN

No-one would argue that Arsene Wenger isn’t one of the most gifted managers in modern football. Unfortunately, during his time in the English game Wenger has also shown himself to be, without any dispute, one of the worst losers the country has ever seen.  Furthermore, with his consistent public displays of petulance, he has proven himself to be a man addicted to the ‘IA’ family of ailments.

 

Wenger’s myopia has been so commonplace over the seasons that it is now sadly no more than an accepted character trait (put it this way, pundits have stopped giggling when Wenger says he did not see an incident involving purported foul play by his own side). Add to this his increasing paranoia, widely seen in the last few weeks when commenting in the British media about what Arsene perceives as a huge bias against his beloveds.

“This team has been punished in the last seven weeks more than any team I have seen in England since I arrived [12] years ago,” Wenger was quoted as saying back in an April edition of The Guardian. “Every single decision has gone against this team in every single game recently.”

Funny, having just re-read this, it’s worth re-checking to see if the word ‘exaggerate’ ends in IA.

But he has outdone himself with his latest comments, which have come about as the media try to figure out why Mathieu Flamini couldn’t wait to do a runner from the Emirates (perhaps because of the reportedly paltry wage he was on), and why Alexander Hleb is so seemingly determined to jump ship.

“I know the rules in this job, the guy [Flamini] is free, he can go to somebody who pays him more,” said Wenger, again as reported in The Guardian. “But he said he wanted to stay. If you say ‘no I want to go somewhere’ that is ok. But you cannot say ‘I want to stay but I go.’ This club here has a history of being built by people of values…”

 

Oh where to start!

First of all, a reminder to Arsene…Sol Campbell. The comparisons with the Flamini situation are virtually identical, right down to some of the language used by each player when at their initial clubs and before ‘doing a Bosman.’  Campbell said he wanted to say at Spurs before, mysteriously, it all went quiet on that front, negotiations between club and player broke down. Arsene could not have possibly been keeping tabs on that situation as that would make him a hypocrite (strangely another word not ending in ‘IA’). And Barcelona could write a long old essay about the poaching of Fabregas from their youth system and, more recently, Fran Merida.

 

“…and zat eez ze thing, they’re ALL out to get me…you’ll see…”

(”wow…thith man ith craythee…”)

 

As for the whole ‘club-built-by-people-of-values’, the precise nature of those ‘values’ should be established. Arsenal are a club who were moved across the river and into North London by Sir Henry Norris, a West London real estate agent, in 1913. And in 1919, after a meeting with the football league, Tottenham Hotspur were relegated and Arsenal promoted from 6^th in the second division at their expense.  A club with a history of being built by ‘people with values’ indeed (there is, of course, so much more to document, but space doesn’t permit such a luxury unless people really want it detailed). Laughable.

Here’s the truth. This season more than any other, Wenger has been outed as suffering from megalomania. His refusal to buy the big name talent necessary last August and again in January has ultimately cost him silverware. His arrogant belief that he could steward a group of players who desperately needed a real leader (not Princess William Gallas) without buying some short-term, world class experience was both foolish and the obvious result of an ego gone quietly askew. And to then blame every single circumstance but the one which you yourself helped create is the height of dellusionaloia.*Arsenal had some bad luck here and there, but the ultimate truth is that their manager got vital things wrong, and made poor decisions at crunch moments, on more occasions than at any other time during his tenure. And until Arsene Wenger faces up to that fact, he will always be regarded as a seriously flawed talent.

 

 

ROY HODGSON – FROM ‘ON THE BUSES’ TO ‘RAGING BULL’

 

Some time ago now, this column had a chuckle at Roy Hodgson’s expense. He was referred to as looking like an extra from dreary British TV sitcom “On The Buses” because, well, he did. As the final whistle blew at Fratton Park on Sunday to close-out Fulham’s 1-0 victory and thus their Premiership survival, it can be best said that Hodgson took on the spectre of a DeNiro character, a Jake La Motta perhaps. Put simply, the man had, with a combination of self-deprecation, class, humility and steel, managed to keep his previously dead Fulham squad fighting. Whilst doing so, they kept the ball on the deck as much as possible. They played football. And they got their reward. Hearty congratulations to Mr.Hodgson, and an apology for tagging him as such a shallow thespian.

 

It’s hard not to feel sorry for Reading, a lovely club with a decent manager, but Steve Coppell would be the first to admit he sold the Madjeski patrons short by not buying when he needed to, and thus their 4 goal thrashing of Derby was too little too late. As for Birmingham, it’s hard to feel any sympathy for such a generally nasty little club. Their ‘supporters’ have never been the nicest and their chairman is not dissimilar to the worst of used car dealers. Alex McLeish is the odd one out. A decent, solid manager, he deserved more than he got from the chairman and board when he arrived to try and help save Birmingham from the dreaded drop. As for David Gold’s absurd accusation that Steve Bruce cost them their status due to some poor signings, he should hold his hands up and come clean on the fact that he absolutely blew it with regards to Bruce’s Birmingham tenure. Proof? Ask Wigan.

 

 

CHAMPIONS AND CHUMPIONS

 

Congratulations to Man.Utd on a deserved Premiership title. It was never in doubt to this writer, but they did end up cutting it tight to the wire. United’s joy at another Premiership crown and a 2-0 win at Wigan must’ve been exacerbated by the news coming from Middlesbrough. ‘Boro 8, Manchester City 1. It speaks for itself. And in a bizarre way, it is an ominous warning of what the Premiership future could hold. After all, would Manchester City really have lost by 7 goals had their chairman remained calm and their manager remained unchallenged? Doubtful. No, this was surely players emotions getting the better of them during what they have been forced to understand was their manager’s last Premiership match in charge. It was almost as if City went on strike for 90 minutes. And with Liverpool’s situation far from clear off the pitch and other sharks sniffing the premiership waters for substantial food, the name iof the game in the future is to try and ensure that those who buy our great clubs are fit, responsible and actually UNDERSTAND the true nature of this beautiful game. Proof? Er, ask Man City!

 

 

BEST PLAYERS OF THE WEEK: Jimmy Bullard, Ryan Giggs, Danny Murphy

All three should take a bow. Bullard has been sensational since returning from such a horrible injury, and his drive, enthusiasm and sheer character continued to shine during Fulham’s great escape. Giggs speaks for himself. A legend. A tireless worker who despite winning virtually every honor remains insatiably diligent and hungry. Plus he scores vital goals. As for Danny Murphy, well, it’s all been a bit of a pig’s ear for him since being forced out of his beloved Liverpool, but on Sunday, his small, boney balding head provided salvation for Fulham and vindication for a talent who had been wayward for too long.

 

WORST PLAYERS OF THE WEEK: Manchester City

 

Look, their performance was (as noted above) obviously tainted by the recent actions of their buffoon of an owner, but it cannot be allowed to excuse them from a horrific dereliction of duty on the pitch. Professional it wasn’t. Not even schoolboys get it that badly wrong.

 

 

MATCH OF THE WEEK: Too many to isolate one.

The final day of the ‘07/08 season was everything the Premiership fat cats wanted. Matches between Wigan and Man Utd and Chelsea v Bolton kept the title going right to the 75^th minute, whilst Reading at Derby, Birmingham at home to Blackburn and Fulham down at Portsmouth all made sure the relegation battle went to the absolute final whistle. A Pompey goal and it would’ve all been so different.

 

 

* This is a fictional word with true factual basis. Use as necessary. Merriam-Webster will come knocking…