THE PATH TO A DYING GAME GETS STRONGER…

Besides the ire that has been irked, the greater implications of Ronaldo’s inevitable move to Real Madrid are both long-reaching and potentially disastrous to football everywhere. It will signal the end of the contract, it will signal the end of protection for clubs who have invested their energies and resources into developing young talents only to end up watching them ‘depart for a challenge’,  and it could very well mean the competitive end of all clubs beyond, say, 20 in world football.

Now, Sir Alex Ferguson is no innocent when it comes to the art of tip tip tapping his blakey-heeled shoes, and rumors of his dispatched offers to the likes of former Spur Michael Carrick via stalwart loyalists like G*** N****** on their international duties remain legendary. But make no mistake. What Real Madrid have done shifts the goalposts dramatically.

Do not be fooled. This is not about a player who wants to fulfil a dream. It is about a player who wanted more money, signed a new contract a short while ago, now sees a move he wants with more money involved and is simply prepared to dishonor his contract to engineer it. Add to that a club with more money (or credit) than sense, and you have a situation where, in the end, money will speak louder than words. That is the inevitable truth. And thus we will enter a whole new definition of the transfer market, one with three distinct tiers* where the Madrids, Man Utds, Chelseas and Milans bob and weave and spar with each other over which of their prized assets will end up in each other’s shorts, the aspirators such as Spurs, Man City, Athletico Madrid and Bayern Munich squabble and fight over the superstars left and then the rest…well, the rest can only hope for the odd quality cast-off to help them beat a big team once or twice a year and perhaps maintain their divisional status. Seriously, if it isn’t already similar, look forward to an era where playground bully rules exist, the big boys swap trump cards amongst each other (‘I’ll give you a Wesley Sneijder plus a Robinho for your Cristiano Ronaldo’) and the snot-nosed urchins left behind try desperately to make their Bentley’s worth the same value as a Tevez in the marketplace.  It is the penultimate tragic step towards international silverware being monopolized by no more than perhaps those 20 clubs referred to already, and it will further stunt the human drama, emotion and unpredictability of a game which has always thrived on as much for it’s true lifeblood.

It’s one of the reasons that Turkey’s march to the semi-finals of Euro 2008 was so invigorating for the neutral. Playing with only a handful of players known to supporters internationally, and certainly without the sort of star names that, say, the Dutch sported, Turkey played with almost beautiful wrecklessness, style, panache and heart.  Too many times they asked questions of more illustrious opponents, and too many times they themselves found the answer, albeit at the last moment. That they themselves could only be knocked out via a last-minute hammer-blow by Germany is miraculous. On the morning of the match, Turkey were missing 10 players through either injury or suspension, yet they threw themselves into the match with the sort of positive gusto that has proven their definition in the tournament and were extraordinarily unlucky in the end to be going home.

In fact, Turkey’s performances have offered the growing reality that IF the likes of Real Madrid and Man Utd continue to engage in millionaire shennanigans over “star” players, that perhaps the future of ‘real’ football’ will swing back to the international game. And not just European countries. Who wasn’t mightily disappointed that no major TV company screened the African Cup of Nations tournament last January? It’s not as though Europe doesn’t benefit from the talents of many from said-continent, besides, many African nations show a similar gung-ho spirit and endeavor to Turkey and many of those same nations contain players who are simply sensational to watch. It’s exciting to watch the Ivory Coast, it’s invigorating to watch Ghana, it’s engaging to watch Morocco. Because there is always the possibility of greatness emerging from an unexpected source. And it is that unexpectedness, that unpredictability, which is slowly disappearing from our domestic league game.        

GOMEZ…THE ANSWER BETWEEN THE STICKS FOR SPURS

Heurelho Gomes seems almost certain to sign for Tottenham Hotspur in the next few days, and there are a number of reasons that Spurs supporters should rejoice. Firstly, it will mean the end of Paul Robinson, once a great keeper and now a shell of his former self who desperately needs a new environment to re-discover himself. The word is that Martin O’Neil will offer him a safe house to rebuild his confidence, and it would be a foolish man who would bet against O’Neil helping Robinson find his former mojo and returning to his old self. But the fact is that it isn’t going to happen at Spurs. Some supporters say he should stay and fight for his spot, but this is asinine; Paul Robinson is not a back-up goalkeeper, he is a great talent who needs a change of scenery. Thus the situation suits everyone.

Secondly, Gomes is a character and a presence, a man who commands his penalty area and does not suffer fools in it gladly. He’s one of the best shot-stoppers in Europe, and whilst there will certainly be some interesting times with him between the sticks, his positives far, far outweigh those negatives. That and the man really does believe in himself, a vital component of any goalkeeper’s psyche. Finally, Gomes brings with him a wealth of both Champions League experience  and general experience. He’s not afraid to say his piece and he’s not afraid to be who he is. The Brazillian Barthez? Perhaps. But if he ends up with the medals Barthez got during his career, no Spurs supporters will complain.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

A QUEER EYE FROM THE THAI GUY

Thaksin Shinawatra is really becoming a firm favorite of this particular author. The diminiutive despot, and owner of Man City, is seemingly hellbent on making sure that his new toy is reduced to the status of schoolyard joke such are his repeatedly bizarre actions. But he’s certainly gone above and beyond the call of duty with his latest idea…to change the Man City club crest. 

“It’s true that he wants to change the crest, as he thinks a sailboat doesn’t represent something solid as it moves only as far as winds take it,” the source said to AsiaOne News. “He wants to change from the ‘uncertainty’ to something firm and stable.” Which translated could apparently mean an elephant, one of Thailand’s national symbols. And also a part of Coventry City’s official club crest. Well hey, they both have sky blue in their home kits. They also shared Tommy Hutchinson back in the early ’80s, as well as Bobby McDonald. And now perhaps elephants too. Needless to say, City fans aren’t exactly jubilant about the tinpot despot’s latest flirtation with change, and the man continues to defy (and properly beggar) belief. Indeed, a club source was quoted in the Sunday Mirror as saying, ”Who knows what the badge will be in the end, but if it’s reflecting Shinawatra it could be a Thai man dressed in golf gear singing karaoke. It’s ridiculous.”

The historic new Manchester City logo is previewed by a Thai designer…

 

For Man City fans it absolutely would, for the rest of us it would supply at least 6 months of good, had laughter before the deeper horror of FOS (foreign owner syndrome) started to dawn upon us. In fact, it leaves you wondering what his next move will be, and this author for one feels sure that the club’s colors are next. Thaksin surely feels that sky blue is, well, shall we say a little ‘light’ in the loafer for his tastes, and that a bright firey color would be far, far better…a bright firey color like…red!!!! Thus Jumpers For Goalposts is prepared to bet a pint that before the year’s out, the little Thai Guy will have introduced red into the club’s official colors. Don’t laugh or get abusive becasue you know it could well happen…

LUKA MODRIC…A STAR

The hacks all said that he was too lightweight, and even a few ex-professionals commented that he’d get pushed around when things got physical, but any lingering doubts that Luka Modric was tough enough were finally buried when he sent Germany’s Torsten Frings 5 ft into the air with a bone-crunching challenge in the 89th minute of Croatia’s 2-1 defeat of Germany. Aside from dictating the rhythm, conducting the Croat orchestra and generally pulling the strings of the match, Modric showed time and time again that he can either deal face-to-face with physical types or can skip and scoot away from such situations. He will do for Spurs what Osvaldo Ardiles did back in the ’80s. Ossie was another man who wasn’t a giant, but he took care of business, kept the ball moving quickly and with intelligence plus he could pass through the eye of a needle. Of course there is no Glenn Hoddle either at Spurs or in modern British football, but Modric’s arrival coupled with the skill, swagger (and strength!) of Giovani Dos Santos promises to offer Spurs plenty of opportunities to score even more goals than last season. If they can find a central defensive partnership which can stay fit (King and Woodgate would be nirvana for all Spurs supporters) then with Gareth Bale returning from injury, Spurs look to be genuine top 4 challengers. It was vital to find a player like Modric, and Spurs transfer committee did just that. And he will prove to be a resounding success.

 

AU REVOIR DOMENECH

And so it is that the French have bowed disgracefully out of Euro 2008, with three listless, lacklustre and inspirational-less displays where only the tireless Franck Ribery could claim amnesty as the autopsy begins. Let’s be very very clear about this; the blame sits squarely with a manager who is at once bizarre, insane and stupid. Yes, stupid. His inability to utilize Benzema properly until it was too late spoke volumes; his decision to leave Mathieu Flamini at home when the player had probably enjoyed the best season of his career was baffling. Further, his decision to chop Djibril Cisse from the squad at the very last moment was madness. Relying on Thierry Henry, who is patently no longer able to play as a lone striker due to the yard of pace lost and what looks like a nagging injury, was a mistake, but perhaps even greater was picking William ‘Mary’ Gallas as the defensive ‘rock’, who quite frankly looked as secure as Bearings Bank and with twice the drama. That they limped away with a 2-0 defeat to an aging and somewhat wheezy Italian side simply added insult to injury. They got everything they deserved in the end of it. As for the rest? Keep your money off Holland. They’ve been brilliant but they’ve perhaps peaked too soon and, more significantly, have yet to really be challenged by a gritty, dull match. This column has a sneaking feeling that the Croatia/Turkey match will provide a finalist…there, they’ll meet Spain, who should really win the whole lot. Portugal? Naaaaaaaah…

BIGMOUTH VELA BECOMES THE LATEST NAUGHTY GOONER

Carlos Vela, Arsenal’s Mexican striker who hasn’t had a look in at the Emirates since arriving two seasons ago (he’s been ‘loaned out’ to ‘develop’ in Spain during that time) used his Mexican team-mate Gio Dos Santos to make sure that people know his name by announcing how happy he was for Dos Santos that he signed for Spurs and that “let’s hope he can move on to a better team.” Foolish really, the sort of ignorant, big-mouthed comment that always ends up coming back to haunt you  before you’ve even made a dent on the subs bench. But with a huge flash of instant karma, word has it that the cocky young pup has actually been arrested in Chicago whilst on duty with the Mexican national side for repeatedly refusing to cooperate with requests to make less noise in a hotel room (further proof that the young man has a big ol’ ‘north and south’ on him). If the stories are substantiated (and several Gooner websites have claimed ’tis a fact) then all we can say is he certainly found his way into the spiritual vein of Arsenal’s history faster than could’ve been expected, joining such illustrious company as Peter Storey, Raphael Meade, Paul Vaessen, Tony Adams and Paul Merson in the nefarious notebook. Some personal advice from Jumpers For Goalposts. Keep your mouth shut, keep out of police arrest records and try to get a few minutes on the pitch as a first-team player before you speak in public again. Needless to say, Spurs supporters would love Vela to come up against Alan Hutton next season, but we all know that unless Hutton is demoted to the reserves (unlikely) that it simply won’t happen. So Carlos, as Gio is lighting up the Lane, send us a postcard from Barnet will you? 

 

…despite being rarely seen on a British football pitch, it’s clear the lad has all the makings to be the next Franny Jeffers…

 

MONTY PYTHON ARRIVE TO OFFICIATE A EURO 2008 MATCH

 

Well it always happens doesn’t it, and Euro 2008 has been no exception. With Italy v Holland balanced nicely at 0-0, a ball was fired in from the Dutch right, Christian Panucci and his keeper Buffon tried to deal with the cross, Buffon clashed with Panucci who ended up being shoved to the floor behind the goaline, the ball squirmed outside the Italian box, was played back in to Ruud Van Nistelroy who was standing about 6 yards offside but netted the chance anyway. As he ran to start celebrating (or avoid a booking for kicking the ball into the net when so obviously offside) he looked over his shoulder for the flag and much to his amazement, didn’t see one. Neither did anyone else. Because there wasn’t one. Because apparently Panucci had apparently ’stepped off the field of play’ and as such had the fortitude to jump right back on it; that he did not was a calculated choice designed to play an offside trap, and as such the lawmakers invoked a little clause to catch sneaky thieves like Christian out. In theory, and on paper, not a bad thing. The problem in this instance was that Panucci was actually lying on his back trying a) to find his lungs and b) to knock his testicles back down into his scrotum from his throat. It would be subtle to say he wasn’t doing a rendition of Michael Flatley’s  ’Lord Of The Dance’ behind that goaline. 

Of course the chief culprits are the officials; quite how they failed to apply not even a sense of logic but simple vision to the situation is beyond belief. And you have to wonder if with this creative interpretation of the rule, we can expect strikers the world over to be played onside by fit blokes wearing repli-kits at the pastie bar, or injured players in uniform getting treatment in the physios lair. Or better still, will players who get pole-axed in such a fashion now be forced to pop blood capsules in their mouths to clearly demonstrate that they’re hurt? Pathetic. The whole thing. And again, you have to wonder if two steps down the line some Fifa/Uefa fat-cats aren’t dancing with joy at how they can use such situations as yet more evidence that football should be four quarters with full replay systems in place.

 

CLASSLESS TOE-RAG SHOWS TRUE COLORS

Ronaldo’s behavior in the last week has, quite rightly, elicited a flurry of angry responses. He has stated he wants to go to Man Utd as long as they are prepared to honor their ‘word’ to pay both him and Man.Utd what they said they would. There’s so much wrong with that it’s hard to know where to start, but why not begin at the plain fact that Real Madrid’s ‘word’ isn’t worth the banknote it’s written on, that Ronaldo has consistently shown himself to be a 100% genuine grifter who will do whatever it takes in the dirty tricks and flicks book to get what he wants, and that words from the mouths of either party mean absolutely nothing. 

We were all seduced by Ronaldo’s stunning season, his 40-plus goals, his apparent maturity and graceful shift in traits, but the truth is he merely learnt to hide his many unpleasant sides better. We should not forget how hard he found (and still occasionally finds) it to stay on his feet, and we should also not forget what he did to an admittedly easy target in Wayne Rooney against Portugal two summers ago. Perhaps the only joy Man Utd can find in his recent behavior, is the fact that Ronaldo will never have a season like he’s just had again, if only because he will not get the support and hard-graft of Rooney and Tevez setting his table anywhere else in the world. Not only that, they would reasonably expect to squeeze 50-60 million quid out of Real Madrid. Not that Ferguson wants the money, indeed, were he to actually bench Ronaldo it would send a worldwide rocket to others who think a contract is only worth the paper it’s written on and behave as such. And let’s face it, would anyone shed a tear of sympathy for this apparent toe-rag? Doubt it… 

THAKSIN SHOWS HIS KNOWLEDGE OF HISTORY

It’s just not a proper week in English football without it’s loopiest despot conjuring some madness. Having found a reason to sack Sven Goran Ericsson, the diminutive dessie then charged forth and gave the job to Mark Hughes, admittedly a fine up and coming manager, but also…a…red!!! Hughes was as vitriolic  Man Utd player as you could ever have met, and was much despised by the blue half of Manchester for a considerable amount of time. Which should make it easy for Citeh fans to support him right? Or is it a cunning plot from the Thai-guy to win back fervent support within a year as he unceremoniously dumps Hughes in the managerial wastelands come May 2009? Bookies are already taking bets… 

 

 

 

UPDATE…’Jumpers’ now to appear on WEDNESDAYS

…being that Wednesday is the middle of the week, and everyone needs a lift in the middle of the week, Jumpers For Goalposts will now update every WEDNESDAY.

MANAGERS ARE LIKE ARSEHOLES (complete the sentence…)

The ‘managerial merry-go-round’ as it’s known, is in full-swing. Sven finally got the blessed chop from the tin-Thai- despot, who now appears unbelievably close to drawing Mark Hughes into his little hobby. Unbelievable because Hughes always struck as being one of the smarter younger managers on the block, someone who had learned well from Sir Alex Ferguson, and someone who appreciated the value of learning his trade over a period of time. Indeed, it’s not too far from reality to imagine that Hughes might’ve been in the frame when Fergie packs it in at Old Trafford. Instead, it appears that impatience will be the thing which undoes Hughes, because let’s be very very clear, there will not  be a happy ending for anyone who works as the Manchester City manager whilst ‘Sinatra’s’ at the helm.

Sven, however, has proven what an astute man he is once more by not only trousering a large wedge of wonga from his former looney employer, but also gathering a whole heap of sympathy on the way. The way to what, you ask? The way to Mexico’s national manager job! Doubtless another 7 figure salary annually, plus a rather nice place to live we shouldn’t wonder. Add that lot to his compensation package from the England job (which only wound up just over a year ago) and you have to admire the slick and slide of the man, his chutzpah, his cajones, his sheer resilience! The man is either truly one of the world’s great coaches/managers (WHEN was the last tin pot he actually won?) or one of football’s cleverest con-artists (hmmmmm…). I know where the smart money sits on that one.

The author’s view of this summer’s managerial merry-go-round…see who you can identify!

 

Meanwhile, in Milan we have Jose Mourinho popping up to take the place of sacked serie A title winning manager Roberto Mancini, who if we’re to believe the tittle tattle could be on his way to Chelsea who have just sacked their Champions League Finalist/Premiership runner-up “loser” (courtesy of Jose Mourinho that one) Avram Grant. Of course, recently ‘departed’ Barcelona manager Frank Rijkaard could yet slide into that seat, unless Mark Hughes decides to pick the devil in Peter Kenyon over the deep blue sea that is Thaksin, but wait a moment, ‘Big’ Phil Scolari could waddle to West London once his stint with Portugal is over in late June. Indeed, when AC Milan’s Ancelotti turned DOWN the Chelsea job and a reported 7 million quid a year to remain at AC, you almost wanted to weep at the honor of it all until you realized that he’s probably on not much less as it is plus he doesn’t have Kenyon or Abramovich to tap dance for. At least Tottenham supporters can rest easy in the knowledge that for once, their manager’s position is the safest of the summer.

 

RONALDO SHOWS HIS INTELLIGENCE

If ever there was a clear indication that talent does not necessarily equate with intelligence, Man Utd’s Portugeezer ( (c) The Sun ) Cristiano Ronaldo has now apparently decided he wants to go to Real Madrid after all. Fool. And for what? He’s at the biggest club in Europe, he’s going to be wonderfully protected for at least two more seasons and he’s not unhandsomely compensated. SO why go to Real Madrid? It isn’t the same Madrid of a decade ago, and they don’t have the same amount of class as they used to have, so again, why? His own ego. That’s all it can be. Perhaps he watched those recent ‘GOAL” movies and got influenced by Kuno Becker leaving Newcastle for Madrid. Of course, it’s an absurd action on Ronaldo’s part, perhaps some short-term gain for enormous, long-term loss. Not that Fergie’s going to be too upset. With the likes of Nani and Anderson lurking in the wings, he knows United will survive, but there’s little doubt that he’d rather have Ronaldo than not, so this one could end in a stalemate and the stiffs for Ronnie as Fergie and co drive the stupid young man into a corner. 

 

THE PAIN TO END FOR SPAIN

Look no further than Spain for the new European Champions come the end of this summer’s Euro 2008 tournament. For two decades they’ve flattered to deceive, but having made the brave decision to ship out Raul (and his ego) the whole fit and feel of the Spanish squad seems perfect, as does their spine of Casillas, Puyol, Fabregas, Xavi and Torres. Holland will be dangerous as ever, and never, ever write off the Germans (who once again appear to be ominously ghosting into the finals with little fanfare) but I fancy Spain to get that little slice of luck that will take them past strong front-runners like Croatia, Italy and France (critically, the first two have suffered terrible luck with injuries to key players).

 

 

24 HOUR COLUMN DELAY

For the 6 regular readers I have, please remain calm and know that the new JFG column will now be posted in 24 hours (WEDNESDAY)

 

Thanks…

 

Steffan