JOE KINNEAR…A HERO ONCE MORE!!!

When Newcastle Dis-United announced that they had dragged Joe Kinnear from suburban convalescence to sit in the hot-seat equivalent of a Mexican jumping bean for a whole 6 weeks if-lucky, the laughter rang out  from Tyneside to Tennessee. It was reasonable to assume that Kinnear’s doctor might have been the reason behind Joe taking the ‘job’, as working with Newcastle right now’s a sure-fire way to test your ticker, but truth be told, it likely had much more to do with the Dennis Wise connection than health. Oh, and also perhaps the challenge; Kinnear’s never been one to hide after all. But there was no mistaking the message this appointment sent-out; desperate. And behind the times. And even a little bit silly? Given the names being touted (Guus Hiddink for example), by the sheer misfortune of proxy, Joe Kinnear’s name was always going to be a let-down. Obviously, the press had a field day, especially when it transpired that Joe’s first day at Sid James Park clashed with a scheduled day off for the players. The unofficial argument amongst press and public was that they’d already had enough days off on Saturdays, Sundays and Wednesdays, but no matter, pundits queued up to state that it was Kinnear’s fault, etc, etc. It was, in fact, a bit of an open season on the man. Ridiculed for a ridiculous job that he hadn’t even had five minutes to try and do. Thinking about it in those terms, we’re all guilty as charged.

Modern decorum dictates that unless you’re one of the big 4 managers, you keep your counsel and tread gingerly with the press, occasionally making sure to show you have a pair of testicles, but not in a particularly challenging or offensive way. Indeed, most managers try and butter up a journo or two so as they can do things like spread rumors, tap-up players and have a friendly word on their side if the proverbial ‘form’ hits the fan.

So when Joe Kinnear held his first official press conference yesterday, everyone could’ve been forgiven for expecting the usual empty rhetoric that wafts through the air like stale wind from a chili cook-off. What they didn’t expect was an introduction like this (all quotes come courtesy of The Guardian).

Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird (the Daily Mirror’s North-East football writer).

SB: Me.

JK: You’re a cunt.

SB: Thank you.*

A stunningly unfriendly and politically incorrect entrance, and one certainly not designed to have the snarling Fleet St mob covering your back when everything’s going to ruin. Of course, Kinnear realizes that it’s already pretty absurdly awful at Newcastle and that the phrase ‘on a hiding to nothing’ is becoming the new management motto, engraved as it is on the revolving incumbent’s office chair. What he did not realize was that in the nu- Premiership, in it’s rarefied air, you’re guilty and have to prove yourself innocent. Since Joe took a bunch of ragamuffin geezers called Wimbledon on the sort of carpet ride that Hollywood makes movies about, things have changed. And since he suffered a heart attack and subsequently had to go into semi-retirement, the behind-scenes politics have changed too. Managers? Only part of the equation. It’s as much about owners and chairman and PR value in the nu-Premiership.

So when Joe Kinnear called one of his perceived-smarmy detractors a ‘cunt’ within the first few minutes of his first official press conference, the air turned so unbelievably fresh that most of the journos in there nearly choked on the cleanliness. In one fell-swoop, Kinnear had decided to abandon protocol, to abandon the rules and to not only defend himself against criticism for a job he hadn’t started doing, but defend himself against the hoardes of mindless, clueless idiots in Fleet St who make a living peddling rumors that they leech from message boards and gossip moles.

Kinnear was, as must be clear, only getting warmed up. During the rest of the conference he told the assembled (both generally and sometimes specifically) that they were ‘fucking out of order’, that he was being ridiculed for no reason, that the press were doing it simply because they enjoyed the position Newcastle was in and that he had had enough. 

After rolling around with laughter at the sheer brazeness of Kinnear’s behavior, it’s very, very hard not to find a new, deeper respect for the man. Not because he got sweary, of course not, but because Joe Kinnear stood up for himself and his new club in the face of the usual, smarmy, two-faced smirk-handed Fleet St onslaught. He decided he’d had enough. He decided he wasn’t going to take it anymore. And he said exactly what he needed to say. In JFG’s book, this is nothing short of heroic, a proper stand against an increasingly large pack of unscrupulous bottom-feeders. Who can be sure what The Guardian’s motives are in printing an edited transcript of this nature, but if it was to further ridicule Kinnear, then it might well have back-fired. Because football is political but it ISN’T politics. Managers don’t have to adhere to fear-induced soft-shoe shuffles. Managers don’t have to concern themselves with behaving obsequiously towards the media they don’t wish to. And in the case of a Newcastle manager, it really isn’t worth the ‘politically-correct’ hassle. The liklihood is that Joe Kinnear does not have long left in a job he’s only just begun. New buyers will come in and pick their own manager. Which means even more that Joe Kinnear does not deserve the ridicule he got from everyone. JFG enjoys a good laugh at the expense of foolish work like the best of them, but the FACT remains that Joe Kinnear had not even had a chance to START the job before the journos were wading in to give him a good kick in. Kudos to him for having the brazen courage to say it EXACTLY as he felt it. Because at least the man will be able to look himself in the mirror and realize that he did not let a group of cheap, unscrupulous bastards drag him from pillar to post in their cowardly quest to ridicule yet another pawn in the nu-Premiership game. Perhaps the next time they consider arrogantly riding rough-shod over someone, they’ll now think twice.

 

*For the entire transcript, go to  http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/oct/03/newcastleunited.premierleague